1. You religiously contend that all exgays are just "pretending to be straight.
2. You bought Wayne Besen's book Anything thing but Straight [forward]
3. You are a card carrying member of "xgaywatch"
4. You've been "undercover" at an Exodus conference
5. You think Soulforce reps MLK and Ghandi
6. You think exgay and reparative therapy is synonymous
7. You are afraid that you too could change
8. You've been "undercover" at a Love Won Out conference
9. You make repeated stupid remarks like "Exgays reveal a certain sort of duplicity that can't be trusted." (an actual stupid remark from Regan Ducasse at xgaywatch!)
10. You concoct humor challenged "parodies" and "infographics" of exgays and their work.
11. You actually make a living at mocking exgays (specifically for a certain gay minstrel act)
12. You've got xgaywatch bookmarked.
13. Your life's ambition is to [quote]stop Stephen Bennett[unquote]
14. You swear by what the APA says.