Telling the story from our point of view

Blog Archive

May 12, 2006

Good Advice from Valorie Burton

Via Black America Web, Valorie Burton, who will be one of two African American main speakers at the Exodus Conference recently gave a hurting parent some real good advice about the woman's daughter and lesbianism:

Dear Valorie,
My daughter is has a lot of friends who are lesbians. I have heard through my niece that my daughter is living a lesbian lifestyle. She moved out last year, works and goes to school. She at first denied these accusations, but I have seem some emails and actions that make me sure of it. I pray for my daughter daily. She gave her life to Christ in church last year, but weeks later she did a 360-degree turnaround. I feel she is living a life on earth just to end up in hell.

I discuss scripturally why it's wrong and morally why it's wrong. I do not condone homosexuality and she knows not to bring it into my home. She is my only child and I want grandchildren very badly and she is robbing me of that with this lifestyle. I personally do not believe she is gay. I just think it's the “in” thing for a lot of young people who experiment with bisexuality. I love my baby and I only want her to have a great life, straight. She's a sweet girl, but all I can say is that she is 19 and lost. What should I do?


I sense your anger and frustration. A couple of things really struck me about your comments. First of all, your daughter’s salvation as a Christian is not lost by engaging in homosexuality. The Bible says that homosexuality is a sin, but so is adultery, fornication, lying, and so forth. It does not say that committing a sin sends a person to hell. God has a plan for your daughter’s life and still loves her. Love your daughter. Be there for her rather than pushing her away by lashing out in anger. Praise her for working and going to school while lovingly taking a stand for your beliefs. Your prayers and love will be more effective than lashing out and lectures.

Secondly, allow your heart to soften your heart round the issue of grandchildren. She is only 19 and has plenty of time to have children. But she is not obligated to have children. That is her personal choice and she should be able to make that choice at the appropriate time without pressure or guilt. So consider letting of the idea that she is "robbing" you. Make a choice to stop focusing on your fears and to start focusing on the lessons being offered to you right now. You can choose to be angry and depressed, or you can choose to trust God. I hope you will choose the latter. You will find more information for Christians dealing with homosexual issues at
Praying with you and for you, Valorie